Plumbing, reporting similar jobs

By Bob Krumm: A friend in Perrysburg is teetering on the brink of becoming quite a celebrity.

Several months ago Sue hired a guy to clear a clogged kitchen sink drain. Last month she spotted a familiar face on television talking to Barack Obama. It took her a moment to realize it was her plumber, Joe Wurzelbacher, now known throughout the country as Joe the Plumber.

She kept the discovery secret, except to family and friends, fearing an onslaught of hero seekers disrupting her quiet neighborhood and upsetting neighbors. Sue is concerned people might begin ringing her doorbell at all times of the day and night, asking to see and touch the drain Wurzelbacher cleared, begging for her autograph, or trampling her meticulously manicured front lawn into a mudhole.

Her fear is legitimate. It arises from Wurzelbacher's own experience since his fame spread. He ended up retaining a publicist after coming under the scrutiny of various news organizations. Joe the Plumber became so distracted by all the attention the publicist served as a buffer between him and reporters.

Following a brief comment and question to Obama while the candidate was in Toledo, reporters scrambled to find out how to contact Joe. Several figured he had a plumber's license and could track his address through the information appearing on it.

They discovered Joe the Plumber is actually Joe the Unlicensed Plumber.

Sue was never-the-less very satisfied with Joe's work -- even if he isn't licensed. "He was polite, friendly and did the job professionally...even cleaned up after he was finished," she told me. "I recommend him to all my friends."

Many feel sorry for Joe's woes with the media. However, as I think about it, there's not a lot of difference between plumbers and the news media. Joe should be a little more sympathetic since neither he nor the media control what passes through the pipes.

Having attempted some plumbing over the years, I greatly appreciate the value of plumbers' work -- frankly, many of us feel they're worth their weight in gold.

When finished with a job, your plumber leaves. When I finally finish a plumbing project there are inevitably leaks or drips. My solution usually involves copious amounts of cussing, duct tape, or strategically placing a bowl under the leak, hoping it'll plug itself by a combination of buildup of minerals from the water and daily prayer. (Inquisitive guests wonder why there are bowls beneath most of my sinks. Now they know.)

Plumbers most often get it right on the first attempt. I journey numerous times to the hardware store. Sandy, our local hardware cashier, usually offers to keep my account open. She knows I'll soon return to exchange a left elbow for a right elbow or some other part. Store employees now bet how many times I'll be back.

If it takes a plumber a half hour to fix a problem, it takes me most of a day or more. In the long run, it's less expensive hiring the professional.

There is another major difference between plumbers and reporters. Plumbers understand their subject thoroughly. They know how to connect various diameters of pipes together and which fixture is needed for a specific application.

Reporters, on the other hand, know a little about a lot of subjects, but rarely know all that much about a single subject.

One of my favorite quotes, about reporters, is from Adali Stevenson, who said, "Reporters are people who separate the wheat from the chaff and print the chaff."

I've also heard a reporter defined as a professional whose business it is to explain to others what he personally does not understand.

Meanwhile, Sue's plumbing problems continue. When daughter Elizabeth discovered a leak beneath her bathroom vanity, Sue called on another unlicensed plumber. Reportedly a DIY-er, this fellow only charges for meals.

"It was a lot cheaper feeding him dinner and a leftover bag of Halloween candy than paying Joe," she told family members, adding, "I'm glad I didn't have to pay for gas; he spent most of the day driving back and forth from the hardware."