Things churches should avoid to grow

The medium-sized church I attend has been experiencing an increase in average attendance, even during the summer months when the choir is on hiatus and folks are taking vacations.

That's great news during a time when church attendance has really fallen off. Now, some might argue this is the result of the growing number of super-churches: with thousands of members and multiple services. I don't believe so... for whatever reasons, people just don't seem interested in making Christ a priority in their lives.

After attending some special seminars on the subject, I've discovered that both church attendance and revenues to operate churches are declining nationwide.

Now, there are many things churches can do to grow their membership. Hopefully, they are not growing membership for the sake of numbers, but for the resources that can result for the good of the church and for community outreach projects.

There are no easy solutions, but there are things ministers and congregational leaders should avoid, if they hope to grow their membership. Here are a few of the things to avoid doing:

1. Don't begin your message with the phrase, "You know what's wrong with you people..."

2. Don't place the student Sunday school space near the "Ruth class" for ladies 70 and above.

3. Don't move business meetings to Sunday morning and open up the floor by asking, "So does anybody have a beef?"

4. Don't begin that year-long sermon series on the 40 weeks of Daniel.

5. Don't place a polygraph machine on the front pew to be used during the invitation time.

6. Don't place tire puncture strips in the parking lot for cars going the wrong way before Sunday school.

7. Don't pick a NASCAR driver as your favorite and complain about all the other drivers.

8. Don't place the roller coaster sign "You must be this tall" at the entrance of the worship center.

9. Don't leave the Christmas pageant livestock in the church choir room year 'round.

10. Don't announce that if the goal is met on high attendance Sunday everyone will kiss the pig!

11. If your auditorium slopes downward to the platform, don't give every kid a handful of marbles before the service.

12. Don't give deacons the ability to "gong" the special music.

13. Don't place the outdoor welcome center tent a few feet from the septic tank.

14. Don't replace the pictures of former pastors with pictures of Larry, Moe, and Curly.

15. Don't start arranging marriages in the singles department.

16. Don't put a blank for "weight" on membership information forms.

17. Don't invite the "cops" crew along during hospital visits.

18. Don't require mandatory drug tests prior to excursions.

19. In order to feel relevant, avoid saying "dude" 15 times from the pulpit each Sunday.

20. Never have the organist play hockey cheers at pivotal moments of the sermon.

21. Avoid the temptation to place armed guards in front of the Sunday school supply closet.

22. Before the offertory hymn, don't allow the worship leader to scream, "Show me the money!"

23. Don't charge tolls for the use of restrooms (I actually heard of one church where this idea was debated but, fortunately, vetoed.)

And fnally, don't use the "American Idol" format for staff hirings.

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Bob Krumm is the General Manager of The Fulton County Expositor and The Swanton Enterprise, newspapers in Fulton County that belong to The Brown Publishing family.